Tag Archive for Talentless

X Factor – Auditions Week 3

Yes week three of the X Factor auditions has come and gone. As usual the shows bosses have shown us more of some contestants than others, that even applying to those sent through to boot camp. It would be far better to see the same amount of everyone put through. Who someone is there with and what they had for breakfast or throwaway shots of people laying on flight cases really doesn’t interest me, it is needless padding that draws away from getting to see the other performers. Of course the reaction of X Factor bosses would be we just don’t have enough time … my response … drop the filler and you would have.

So what did I make of week number 3 and of those contestants who made it through. Read on and find out.

Jade Richards

Jade Richards X factor 2011This is the first of 2 acts that will be grabbing the headlines from week three of the auditions. Jade 21 from Fife performed Adele’s “Someone Like You” and brought some of the judges to tears. She had been gigging in Fife with her best friend Keir Smith, and he had helped her gain confidence, but she decided to make her bid for glory alone. She has a natural gift with her voice that with some training and voice coaching could be developed. But having the voice is only a part of what she will have to work on or change. The look she showed us on stage to me was a little bit Vicky Pollard, albeit a Scottish version. The clothes especially the track suit top and the tattoos just didn’t do it for me. I have seen where she has been criticised for wearing black, I like black, it wasn’t the colour it was the clothes. She is also a big girl, reminding me of Alison Moyet and more recently Michelle McManus, both in look and voice. We have seen how hard Michelle had to work to make it through due to her size, and one has to ask has Jade got that tenacity. I know some will say that there is no bias but although it may be concealed it will exist. We also hear that X Factor bosses want her to be more appealing to the younger audience, why? They are more easily influenced than us older cynics, tend to spend their pocket money on voting making the X Factor bosses richer and even if it is crap will buy the singles from X Factor contestants due to the hype. If she can go the distance she will be one to watch.

Luke Lucas

Luke Lucas X Factor 2011 Luke Lucas is one of a group of 16 year olds sent through to boot camp on week 3 of the auditions. Luke who hails from Margate sang “Who’s Loving You?” by Michael Jackson for his audition. We have also learnt that Luke would like to be the British Justin Bieber which we find a little scary as one of them is enough without a British clone. Whilst the judges enthused about his audition and he and Tulisa exchanged kisses some of us were listening to his performance. I have to say that he managed to hit a few bum notes despite his practising on Karaoke, but then again Karaoke is NOT the best training ground nor does it produce many good singers, overall it was an above average performance. He is young fresh faced and doesn’t look like a razor has yet touched his face which makes me ask the question … Has his voice broken yet? Luke currently sings in a fairly high register and if his voice has yet to break fully it could have major consequences. With his crush on Tulisa I also have to ask if he has the maturity to cope with the pressure and if he went a long way in the competition potential stardom? There are many if’s with Luke so it will be interesting watching how he develops.

David Wilder

David Wilder X Factor 2011It seems the X Factor is used to producing flamboyant acts and I think David perhaps fits that description fairly well, having been described by many and the press as 2011′s Wagner. David claims to be 42 although it is reported he is in fact 8 years older and actually 50, but he is still eligible to enter so it is not an important point. Gary Barlow described his performance of David Bowies “Life On Mars” as “bad tuning, bad timing, bad diction and no connection to the song…. having said  all that I absolutely loved it.” Being honest Bowie himself has never had great diction and his singing voice is a touch nasal, as for the timing David did try to run and sing at the same time which will always provide a few complications. Tulisa was just left wondering what was going on yet enjoyed it, and Kelly just felt everyone wanted to be a little more like David. People with far worse diction have made the big time … I am reminded of David Essex who was like the X Factor contestants manufactured and who sang with a very broad cockney accent. Manufactured pop is nothing new. David has also recorded and released an 11 track album called Baby Blue Is Born Again. He was also accused of stalking and harassing a surgeon whom it is reported he blamed for botched plastic surgery. So what did i make of David Wilder? Well his voice was ok, and it will be interesting to see how he embraces different musical styles. He has been likened by some to Jimmy Saville looks wise, but I think he perhaps leans more towards Steve Tyler, Iggy Pop or even  Mick Jagger and he certainly has character. David has said he sees the show as useful exposure although he doubts he will get to show what he is about, it will be interesting to see how far he progresses, is David the one who could perhaps come from behind?

Max Mackay, Lemuel Knights, Lizzie Colbourne

Max MacKay X Factor 2011Lemuel Knights X Factor 2011Lizzie Colbourne X Factor 2011

 

 

 

 

These are the other 16 year olds that made it through on week three to boot camp. Due to their ages very little is known about them at this time but we will update information as it becomes available. Max MacKay sang a version of John Legends “Ordinary People” to be told by Kelly he was cute and by Gary that he had a nice voice and tone. Seems Kelly’s vocabulary is still in need of a dictionary. With big hair rivaling anything the Jackson 5 could put out and reminiscent of the 1970′s, Lemuel Knights gave us Jessie J’s “Do It Like A Dude” and blew everyone away. “I thought you and your voice, my dear, are complete stars,” Kelly said. “Lem I thought your voice was absolutely terrific,” added Gary Barlow. At least Kelly avoided using the C word yet again. With a very pleasant acoustic rendition of a Carol King song “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow”, Lizzie Colbourne proves yet again that there is no age limit to talent.

The Talentless Majority – Week 3

Michael Lewis X Factor 2011 In a week where we got to see more of the talentless majority than we had in weeks one and two one act stood out amongst all the rest. Auditioning for the second time was Michael Lewis who in 2010 performed attempting to look like Michael Jackson this time around he performed Geri Halliwell’s “Look At Me”. Bad choice of song as we didn’t want to look or listen, it was a performance that had they been available would have had the audience reaching for the vomit bags. Michael just confirms that there are those even when told repeatedly they have no talent still believe they do. We even saw the delusional 27 year old lay on the stage, claiming it was his. Will 2012 see psychiatric professionals standing by with straight jackets and administering anti psychotic drugs, before taking away the drooling malcontents? It’d probably up the ratings.

Angel X Factor 2011The majority also included the Angels, 3 girls between 18 and 23 whose singing wasn’t at all angelic. Even the so called dancing was out of time, disjointed and off. It was rather like Karaoke after a bottle of Vodka, but with less talent. The rot continued with Jade Freeman (21), the opinionated Anamelia Silva who is a club hostess aged 23, who seemed to like the sound of her own voice though everyone else didn’t. And last but not least Mitchell Webb, a 26 year old bingo caller. All I can say about Mitchell is his voice was as monotonous as a bingo caller, but he obviously believes he is talented the problem is the rest of us know he isn’t and never will be, at least as a singer.

Conclusion

Week 3 showed again that there is talent out there, and that there are some potential stars of tomorrow in the younger generations. As always we have had a mix of the good and the deluded. Of course the thoughts above are just mine and you may not feel the same way. As always you can register, log in and leave your comments.

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© 2011 Paul Sims. CEE Worldwide Entertainment Agency.

X Factor – Auditions Week 2

So week two of the X Factor 2001 auditions has been aired. As in week one we see technology being used, dressing rooms, and an audience which is bound to influence the judges.

I have to say that whilst not a fan of the X Factor in any way I have been so far reasonably impressed with the new look judging panel. I think in week one they made a few horrendous decisions, but in week two seemed to have redeemed themselves. Perhaps it is just a case of settling in, however I hope Kelly can learn a new word from the dictionary for week three as “cute” as she is she really needs another adjective to add to her collection.

So what did I make of week 2 of the auditions well read on and find out.

Johnny Robinson

Johnny Robinson X FactorI was pleasantly surprised with the start of the week 2 auditions when we were introduced to Johnny Robinson. Before we saw him on stage he was interviewed and we got our first insights into him. So what did I make of “the book”? Well it looked from the outside to be pretty nondescript, the title giving nothing away, a little worn and frayed at the edges, perhaps an unsuccessful hint of trying to reclaim some youth. The preface was a trifle camp, not in the Noel Coward way but more the Kenneth Williams, with a smattering of Hilda Baker. Then Johnny stepped on stage and the book opened. Talking to the judges was a guy of 45 with what could be described as a reedy voice, but what happened next was comparable to Susan Boyle on Britain’s Got Talent. The mouth opened and out flowed At Last by Etta James. It was one of those you had to be there moments, you had to see it as it happened not see the YouTube re-runs. This was a voice that had the wow factor, as it sang the song with passion style and note perfect. As Louis said he had judged the book by the cover and had had to do a complete re-appraisal, just like everyone had had to do with Susan Boyle. The voice is great, the look needs work, but if he can overcome the obstacles as Susan Boyle did Johnny could go far.

Derry Mensah.

Derry Mensah X FactorBefore Derry even went on stage you knew he had a thing for Kelly Rowland. It appears the 20 year old who works at Burger King was once on the wrong side of the law for robbing a teenager on a train for which he was sentenced for 18 months and served 9. It is reported that he was armed with a gun when the incident took place although non was ever found. Derry says that prison gave him the want to turn his life around and that he was encouraged to do so by other inmates. Whilst some people will feel that Derry should not have such an opportunity due to his past, under law he is entitled to the same rights as anyone else, to discriminate on the grounds of him being an ex-offender is against the law. If I am honest the music business has a lot of people arrested for various things working within it. So what of his singing? Well he held the tune singing Can You Help Me by Usher. Can he be a good solo act? Possibly. Could he fit into a group? Possibly. The judges were split on this one with both Louis and Kelly saying they could see him in a group. Why am I sitting on the fence, well he is through to boot camp and I already know a number of groups were formed from some of the contestants but I do not know who was in them. I am therefore reserving some judgement for the future when we see what path Derry takes.

Roger Boyd

Roger Boyd X FactorRoger Boyd is 32 and from Portrush, County Antrim and works in an off licence. Again to me this was another Johnny Robinson moment. I think again it was judging books by covers and making assumptions before actually listening. I know Gary questioned versatility and asked do we need another Meatloaf? But if I am honest isn’t the show called the X Factor, and hasn’t Gary been heard a number of times saying we are looking for people who will sell albums worldwide. With the range, power and already proven selling record of Meatloaf, the answer would have to be YES. With his version of Meatloaf’s “I Would Do Anything For Love” Roger has been nicknamed RoBo, and admits he is a self confessed SuBo fan. Time will tell if it is he or Johnny who claims the SuBo crown. Roger has also hit back at claims he is a Drag Queen, after a photo he claims was from a fancy dress party was leaked to newspapers. There are many within the entertainment industry who are gay or extremely camp, it has been that way for years and I thought that we had overcome prejudice .. perhaps we still have a way to go.

Craig Colton

Craig Colton X FactorI like Craig’s openness and what you see is what you get approach. he admitted living at home because he got his meals cooked and ironing done. We found out he worked in a biscuit factory where his dad also worked and he had no idea what it was his dad did, a typical child. Craig is like a breathe of fresh air although being involved with the X Factor the air may go stale pretty quickly. He performed a cover version of  Adele’s “Hiding My heart” which was better than many of those who went through on week 1. There were imperfections and a few bum notes but vocal coaching and guidance can cure most of those things. I shall be watching Craig with interest, so far he may be a contender who comes out of nowhere to go places.

Misha Bryan

Misha Bryan X FactorThe only female to get through in week 3 was Misha Bryan who is 19 and from Manchester. She performed a cover of RESPECT by Aretha Franklin at her audition and even added some rap into the mix. Whilst trying to fill the queen of souls shoes is a big enough task I have to wonder if the rapping was worth it, it showed versatility but there is still plenty of time for that. Tulisa loved her enthusing “That was exciting! I loved that audition, everything was brilliant. Your  style’s on point, you have attitude. Best audition of the day, brilliant.” However before we get too carried away lets look at a few facts not made known. Misha from Longsight is a busker in Manchester usually performing close to the Arndale Center in market street. In support of I Love MCR Misha put on performances of Adele’s “Someone Like You” and “Forget You” by Cee-Lo Green.

Misha has just completed her first year of a course at Trafford College’s Manchester Music Base, where she was coached by Leanne Brown, who had a hit with Flowers in 2000 as half of the duo Sweet Female Attitude. Misha has also collaborated with top Manchester rapper RIO, and taken part in a charity appeal in aid of the Japan earthquake at the city’s Night and Day venue. So she is no stranger to the stage and her coaching allowed her to give a good performance. She has potential, and it will be interesting to watch how she progresses. It also would seem that perhaps she is another X Factor producers project as they showed her “on the bus”, and so called arriving. Am I cynical … damn right I am.

Joseph Castle

Joseph Castle X FactorAnother male act who went through to boot camp but whom we saw very little of. In the few seconds the X Factor producers gave us we saw a little flirting with Kelly Rowland and Joseph singing a slightly jazzy version of Nat “King” Coles “Let There Be Love”. We also found out that Joseph is 24 and works in IT. He seemed to have a reasonable voice but what else have I managed to find out about him? Well it seems earlier this year he was in recording studios and that he began work on what he calls his “debut LP”, which would seem to be songs penned by himself or others. On the 7th June 2011 “Everything You Want” was released into the public domain followed on 8th July 2011 with “This Song’s For You”

Take a listen using the following links:
Everything You Want
This Song’s For You

The Keys

The Keys X FactorThe only group to make it through in week number two of the auditions were The Keys. It is always hard finding half decent groups in the X Factor so to find a very decent one is like finding a certain piece of straw in a bale of straw, nigh on impossible, until now. Boot camp often sees solo acts combined into groups with these boys no combining is needed. So what do we know about The Keys apart from they audiationed and went to boot camp. Well I can reveal i have names and ages Rohan 24, Lewis 23, Charlie 26, Nick 25 and Dan 24, although which is which I am still at a loss at. The group performed a slick and tight version of Aloe Blacc’s “I Need A Dollar” with some really good harmonies. They also had a great individual look. It is no wonder Louis who mentored JLS was excited. These guys had pt the work in and it showed in the audition big time. I think these may be a big surprise in the coming weeks.

The Talentless Majority – Week 2

The Duos X FactorStanding tall amongst this weeks talentless majority are The Duos. Likening themselves to Beyonce and Jay-Z, its was more like Beyond Comprehension and what you might find on a J Cloth. Bad is not a word that even comes close, I wish I could be kind but I can’t, it was dreadful, medieval torture would be more preferable, as would being forced to listen to Dennis Waterman continuously. Also in this category we see Mark Byron who was a sales assistant. Mark had what can only be described as a bad hair day, yes the hair was tragic but not quite as tragic as his audition. Luckily he said if he got 4 no’s he’d leave the country, so perhaps as he got 4 no’s there is a plus side for the rest of us. Then we had P-Knowledge aka Perry Devonish. Kelly loved his abs but didn’t love his voice .. I have to agree it wasn’t good, but next to The Duos it was like that of an angel.

Conclusion.

All in all a great week for hidden talent. The other thing that was even better was the lack of professionals being put through. Yes the X Factor has its favourites again and perhaps Joseph cannot be called a total amateur but it was much fairer than the previous week. I will be watching and reporting and only time will tell what happens.

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© 2011 Paul Sims. CEE Worldwide Entertainment Agency.